Neil to the Rescue

Neil was in town this weekend, so a bunch of his friends got together to see him and watch the movie, "The 40 Year Old Virgin". Hold on before you start to make any comparisions between the movie and Neil. I've known Neil for many years. I can tell you, with 100% certainly, without any doubt in my mind, that Neil is definitely not... in fact it would be absurd to assume otherwise.. is NOT 40 years old.

As soon as Neil walked in the door, his cell phone rang. His friend Roberta had accidentally cut herself in her kitchen and was panicking. Neil, being the hero that he is, quickly jumped to the rescue. He quickly finished his glass of wine. Then he ate a few pistachios. Then he rushed over to the hospital to see his friend. Roberta was fine. She came back with Neil to enjoy the movie.

In search of SWN

Neil's new job has him traveling so much that he is never in town. That is why I am looking for a "replacement Neil". To qualify you must...

1) Regularly amuse your friends with your crazy antics
2) Love COSTCO, Wegmans and REI
3) Remain single despite being a nice guy (you must share your dating experiences)
4) Have difficulty typing with proper grammar and spelling
5) Be slightly uncomfortable with male affection (though you can't be homophobic)
6) Have an unhealthy obsession with your cell phone

If this sounds like you, post a comment. Make sure to mention what brand of cell phone you use.